A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer : May I see your driver's license ?
Driver : I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my ticket for driving while drunk.
Officer : May I see the registration for this vehicle ?
Driver : It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer : The car is stolen ?
Driver : That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer : There's a gun in the glove box ?
Driver : Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the blonde bitch who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer : There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?! ?
Driver : Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain : Sir, can I see your license ?
Driver : Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain : Whose car is this ?
Driver : It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
The driver owned the car.
Captain : Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it ?
Driver : Gun ? What gun ? ?
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain : Would you mind opening your trunk ? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver : I said what ????
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain : I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver : Yeah, And I'll bet the lying son-of-a-bitch told you I was speeding too !!!